Audette and I spent a moment in the car together yesterday,
having a discussion about her choices. To be honest, most of the time our chats
about “her choices” are usually geared towards how we can work on them. Poor
oldest child with an intense mom. But as Benetton slept in the car, I took
those few quiet moments we had together to tell her how proud I was of her.
During church, Benetton stayed out of her class because she
is recovering from a little cold. As we were wandering the halls, we ran into
Audette’s class. They were on a full-blown scavenger hunt throughout the church.
Benetton followed at a distance with me, but as soon as Audette noticed her
little sister, she ran to her and grabbed her hand, inviting her to join.
Despite the fact that Audette is still a four-year-old, and became a little
distracted by her sister, forgetting to fully listening to the teacher or the
lesson, I watched the two girls hand-in-hand with silent admiration. Audette
made sure Benetton found her place in the scavenger hunt line, met all of the
other kids and got her own cookie prize at the end. This sweet, unprompted
kindness between siblings is so heartwarming and makes my mother heart burst.
Later that day, as we were walking down the sidewalk,
Audette noticed a little girl in a wheelchair, probably 7 or 8 years old. She
stopped and asked me from a distance why she wasn’t walking. I quickly
explained that every child is born different and some can’t walk. That’s why
they use special chairs to get around just like we do. I asked Audette if she
wanted to say hello and she quickly responded, “I’ll probably see if she wants
to share my banana with me.”
We walked up to the girl, her little brother and her dad.
Audette’s typically outgoing personality became a little guarded as she
realized that this little girl was not acting like most kids she has played
with. We said hello and the little girls’ response was not a typical hello, but
you could tell she was happy and excited by her movement and her eyes. Her younger
brother piped right in to introduce himself, as well as the two monster trucks
he was holding. The girls’ name was embroidered on her chair, so I read it to
Audette and my girls started talking to the new family. “Do you want a bite of
my banana?” was, naturally, Audette’s first question. The conversation
continued, as the kids compared how both our families were wearing matching
clothing and they began racing the monster trucks on the sidewalk bench.
Back to the car ride conversation. So many times I let the
sweet moments go unnoticed and I wanted to make sure Audette knew that I recognized
how kind she was, both to her sister and the girl in the wheelchair. Not only
did I notice, but I was inspired that her kindness didn’t know the bounds of
family or ability. She told me she had been nervous to talk to the girl in the
wheelchair at first, but I assured her that it was okay to feel that way, what
was important was that she was kind. And now she would know that all children
can be different AND just like her, all she needs to do is say hello and be
kind to make a new friend.
Our family has been praying for and talking about the
victims of the tragedy in Orlando quite a bit. We’ve been discussing ways we
can teach our children how to help and support people who experience such an
unnecessary hardship, and how to help them avoid tragedy in the first place. I
know most of the country has been celebrating pride month with even more
sentiment based on the loss of life. It is beautiful when people band together
to show love. But deep down, I wish that our world didn’t even require
designated months for different groups of people. I wish that we all felt, like
Audette, that it doesn’t matter who someone is, their relation to us or how
they live their life, but that everyone deserves to be treated with love and
kindness. All year long, I hope that we can celebrate being kind and showing
more love, not just this month or any other. And that as mothers, fathers and
parents, I pray that we take those special moments, that I so often miss, to
help our children recognize that being kind already comes so natural to them. Let's help our next generation be the one that doesn't worry about what is different in each of us, but what is the same.
Because in the end, of course I would be thrilled for my children if they become doctors, teachers,
lawyers, dancers, pop stars, counselors, mothers, but all of that won’t matter
to me in the slightest if they aren’t kind.
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