Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A Deacon's remarks


A friend of mine responded to my post Pope resigns. Elect a nun? and I wanted to share it here. I have known him since childhood and recently found out he is a Deacon for the Catholic Church and will be ordained a priest this summer. This is a lengthy response, but he provides a very well constructed defense for women and their role in faith and the history of the Catholic Church.

Enjoy the words of Deacon, soon to be Father Kurt Perera:

"Hi Darien, coming across your post, and being Catholic myself, I found your thoughts and those of this person that wrote the article interesting. While I completely disagree with the premise that is presented, I am delighted that many non-Catholics and others are thinking and discussing about these topics that pertain to the Catholic Church.

The major point I would ask those who share the opinion expressed in the WP article is “Why do we degrade women in thinking that their only influence and power comes from holding what is perceived to be a structural or hierarchical construct?” Are we only then reinforcing the stigma and widespread belief in our modern world that a woman only possesses power when they hold some sort of title?

If we look at the course of history, there have been many influential, powerful women in the world, especially within the Catholic Church. For example, look at the prior pontificate of Pope John Paul II. During the time of his pontificate, while he was indeed a very visible figurehead of the Church, there were many who would argue that the face of Catholicism did not rest on the Pope, but rather an Algerian nun working in the slums of India. 

The woman I am referring to, is of course, Mother Teresa. Besides winning the Noble Peace Prize, and speaking at various conferences and groups such as the U.N. – Blessed Mother Teresa was revolutionizing the face of Catholicism to the world by feeding and helping the most vulnerable of society. Where was her title? Where was her office? Was she even a priest or the pope? No. Yet she possessed tremendous power and influence over the entire world.

Her empowerment came from something more than an office or being part of ordained ministry. Her empowerment came from someone - God, whose face she showed daily to the people she loved and cared for. This is where true empowerment begins. A man can hold whatever titles he want – be it “Father,” “Bishop” and even the “Pope.” Yet he would not have any true power and influence if he did not reflect the love of God for others in his life.

I can provide other examples of Catholic history where women have played instrumental, powerful roles that are often remembered more so than the men who have held ecclesiastical power. Other examples include Teresa of Avila who set the world aflame with her reformation of religious life, Terese of Leseiux who was a cloistered nun who practiced the simple way of “love,” to even Joan of Arc who garnered and enthused an entire nation to fight for their freedom. The Church honors and celebrates these women as “saints” and some as “doctors of the Church.”

Be careful on what you read as well as “Pope Joan” is not an accurate account of Catholic history. There are many who try to discredit the Catholic Church by presenting it as a hierarchical structure that oppresses people who do not fit within their schema. Be wary of these sources… the truth is at times harder and not as “sensational” to accept than falsity – so the media presents things according to what they want to see.

Another problematic area in this article is the false dichotomy between doing charitable works and following a doctrinal teaching of the church. Works of charity and love do not limit belief. Rather it is authentic belief that inspires one to works of charity. Yes, it is true that the “visible face” of those who hold ecclesiastical offices are not often seen “in the trenches” or “getting their hands dirty” with the poor in Africa, etc. I agree that it would be good to do more – as there is always room for growth and conversion. However, to say that a woman is more knowledgeable, would bring more attention to, and more likely to carry out such activities over men, reflects a certain sexism that is a form of discrimination. There are many men, clergy included, who are carrying out charitable work for the poor.

Same thing with the abortion issue presented in the opinion article. Sometimes what is needed in a situation is not someone who has necessarily experienced the same situations as the other, but one who can objectively look at the situation and offer a solution independent of one’s personal experience. This might seem cold and harsh at first, but the two do not have to be separate. A person can objectively look at a situation and still be compassionate. 

For example, why do people seek out the advice of doctors for their illnesses? Does it mean that I only go to a doctor if I know the doctor has experienced the same illness? Do cancer patients only go for treatment to a doctor who has had cancer herself? No. They go to a doctor because she is specialized in treating whatever illness it is, independent of whether she has had it or not. The argument that women would bring awareness to issues that only a woman can, is false. Once again this actually promotes a sexist view of women. What is needed - is more men who are able to embrace and see the side of women in a compassionate, understanding way, yet also be able to objectively analyze the situation for what it is.

One day very soon God willing I will be a priest of the Catholic Church. I hope never to degrade or limit the role of women, but truly recognize their import within the church and within the world. The only way that we can bring about true empowerment and the betterment of society is when we recognize the proper roles of our particular calling whether one be a man or a woman. 

Confusion erupts when we are seeking a false “equality” that in the end destroys who we are in the very core of our beings (our ontology). Promoting and celebrating who we are and our strengths in being a “man” and being a “woman” and the roles proper to it, is where true harmony lies. This does not degrade who we are as “women” and “men,” but follows in harmony and nature to the way God intended it to be. It will not come about by confusing, switching, or neutering our particular roles in who we are as our particular sex. Thank you once again for your thought provoking article."

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Pope resigns. Elect a nun?

"Throughout history, it’s not uncommon for women to be brought in to put right what men have put wrong."

A powerful statement from the Washington Post opinion writer E. J. Dionne Jr. in response to Pope Benedict XVI stepping down.

Having read the novel Pope Joan recently, I found this Washington Post article incredibly thought provoking. I worked with many nuns during my missionary service in predominantly Catholic Spain and would consider any of those women the heart and soul of the Catholic Church.

Read: The best choice for Pope? A nun.

Let's hear what you say:
Are you noticing a break in tradition with women's roles in religion?
What disruption (good or bad) would a female pope make in the Catholic Church? In the religious community at large? In your personal community/home?
Would this type of change play solely to social/gender issues or would it affect someone's faith?



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

'If you do good, you'll feel good.'

It has been six days since the shootings in Newtown, CT. Six days for you to cry. Six days for you to hug your children, your loved ones. What about six days to do some good?

I find myself coming to this blog during times of tragedy and loss. I never intended it to be that way. My sister sent me a text message the day of the shootings. All it said was "MOTUS". I knew that this was where I should share my feelings, but I wasn't ready to do so, yet.

I went in to work on Sunday morning at 3am to cover the event. I thought reporting on the tragedy might give me inspiration to address my friends and family (or whoever reads this blog), but I ended up just becoming more and more emotional as I sat and listened to interview upon interview of families and friends who had lost their loved ones. Even my boss, who came in to relieve me Sunday morning so I could go to church, told me he had never felt so emotionally connected to a story besides 9-11. He worked and lived in Washington, DC on 9-11, next door to the Pentagon. Of course, he felt a strong connection then. This time he felt that tug because he couldn't get the image of his 5-year-old son out of his head every time he looked at the TV.

Having dismissed all thoughts of ever writing something uplifting, my mom gave me just the inspiration I needed in a text message. We were on the phone together when she abruptly said, "Hold on. Hold on. Hold on!" (I was in the middle of a comment.) "I have to go. They're doing an important segment on the news." She hung up. The text message came a couple of minutes later. Here is what it said:

This was just the inspiration I needed, and apparently, the world needed. While reporting in Newtown, CT, Ann Curry wondered what she could do in order to help. Here is what she did, an excerpt from an NBC News blog:

"'What if? Imagine if everyone could commit to doing one act of kindness for every one of those children killed in Newtown.' So that's what I tweeted. And guess what? People committed. I said in my tweet, 'I'm in. RT if you're in.'"

She went on to write that people have taken the challenge and made it their own. Many have not only committed to do good for every child, but for the adults who were killed, even the mother of the shooter and the shooter himself. People have such huge hearts. They know that everyone involved is heartbroken.

My favorite part of her challenge is her promise:

"I know the truth: if you do good, you feel good. It's the most selfish thing you can do. Right now, this country wants to heal. I think the only thing comforting in the face of a tragedy like this is to do something good with it if you can. Be a part of that wave."

Isn't that the truth? I am committed to do good. Start your acts of kindness today, to help yourself and our nation heal.


Share what you are doing. #28actsofkindness #motus

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanks Giving

Have you ever met someone who immediately reflects a certain light? The second you see them or speak to them you know they are just "good"? I have met many throughout my short life, but one person in particular is on my mind this week.

Rachelle Morris and I met during what BYU calls, "Y Weekend". It was a silly recruiting weekend where nerds, like ourselves, were invited to check out the college campus, attend a class, cheer at a football game, convince us to attend. (I'm not sure they really had to do much convincing, I think both Rachelle and I were planning on going there from the start.) Rachelle immediately made everyone around her feel like they were her best friend. She was eager to learn about each timid potential student and help them feel comfortable in their own skin. It is no wonder she quickly thrived in college and I always loved interacting with her any chance I had.

Fast forward to today. I don't know everything that is happening, but what I do know is that Rachelle is sitting in a hospital in Vegas. Unlike the rest of us, who are peeling potatoes for tomorrows dinner or cuddling up on a couch with our loved ones to watch our favorite holiday movie, Rachelle is sitting next to her brother who has undergone life saving surgery.

On Tuesday, a tragic car accident brought Rachelle to her current location. The accident took her younger sister's life. Her brother and his fiance were taken to the nearest hospital. The three of them were traveling to Arizona for the holidays. Rachelle immediately arrived in Vegas to be with her brother. Gratefully, her brother is expected to make a full recovery and his fiance sustained no serious physical injuries. This unexpected and horrifying event brought a small group of friends and family to Vegas to help these siblings through the experience.

What I also know is that to these siblings, Rachelle was like a mother. The older of the three, it was so apparent how proud she was of them. As I write this, I can't help but think back to a comment she made about an earlier MOTUS post. She posted,

"Totally love the #motus cause. One of these days I'll be able to join you. Keep it up!"

Rachelle, I am joining you my friend, you are a mother. You are an incredible example to me this holiday season as I think of you, the rock for your family, sitting next to your brother, holding his hand, as you both think how grateful you are to still have each other. And especially grateful for the beautiful years you shared with your lovely sister.

I received a short note from her in a group email last night that sent me to bed in tears. I am so thankful for my family, so thankful for my friends, so thankful for my faith that assures me life is eternal and families are forever.

Taylor and Madeline Morris

Please take a moment to be thankful for what you have and what you get to keep. And, if you are capable, please take a moment to give. I can't do much for Rachelle while I am a state away, but finances is the last thing we, as friends, want her to worry about on Thanksgiving day. Follow the link below if you would like to help.

Thanks giving for the Morris family.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who shared their voting stories. Follow up post coming soon.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It's up to you

It's election day. I don't know about you, but I barely slept last night. I was up every hour; Christmas came early for me this morning. The alarm clock went off at 2am and I bounded out of bed to get ready for election coverage. I count myself very fortunate this morning, covering the Presidential election from the nation's capitol for a well-respected national network. As I showered, brushed my teeth, threw on my red, white and blue (go America and color coordinating!), my only thought was, "You need to write about this monumental experience, Darien."

If you don't read any further, read this: PLEASE, VOTE! Today is one of the most important opportunities to unite with your country and share your voice. At a time when the country is divided, completely split on their opinion of who should be in the Oval Office for the next four years, the least we can do is unite as voters at the polls today, even if we may disagree on who we will be voting for.

I would love to share your voting stories here. Please tell us:
  • Who you took to the polls with you: your daughter, your son, your husband, your grandma, your friend.
  • Take a picture: your voting sticker, your 7 hour line, your red, white and blue.
  • Tell me about the new friend you met in line today.
  • For you undecided voters: share that moving moment that inspired your decision today.
  • For you mothers: how did your family play in to the decision you made today to vote?
Leave a comment here, tag me in a post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or #motus.

Facebook: Darien Carroll Laird
Instagram: darienlaird
Twitter: @darienlaird

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The true hero rises


At the end of a long day, the final news resonated in homes around the world: 12 lives were lost in the Colorado tragedy and several more are still in the hospital. The man who entered the theater with guns fully loaded told police later he was there as "The Joker." 
Christopher Nolan, the filmmaker whose Batman trilogy concludes with "Dark Knight Rises," responded to the connection and the event in a statement:
“Speaking on behalf of the cast and crew of ‘The Dark Knight Rises,’ I would like to express our profound sorrow at the senseless tragedy that has befallen the entire Aurora community..."
"... I believe movies are one of the great American art forms and the shared experience of watching a story unfold on screen is an important and joyful pastime. The movie theater is my home, and the idea that someone would violate that innocent and hopeful place in such an unbearably savage way is devastating to me.”
On a personal note, my sister is in the film business and I know that like Christopher Nolan, she has a special place for the theater. She is working in Hollywood around the likes of Nolan and many more. But more importantly she lost a friend in the shooting. She attended high school with him, he spent time in our home and she found out about his loss just this evening.

I love movies, my career is driven by the media and my family is inspired by music. Entertainment is a huge part of my life, but it raises a big dilemma. Here are the questions I raise to you:

1) How do you find a balance between entertainment and real life?
2) How do you teach and define that balance in your own home?
3) Do you think movies characterizing heroes and villains are inherently good or bad for society?